The IRS Can Take A Joke, Right?

Mention the IRS and taxes. What happens? Most people will get a guilty look on their face and whimper. Well, how about a bit of laughter as well? The following humorous thoughts ought to get you laughing.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! - Jerry Seinfeld

The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power. - James Bovard

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct. - Fran Lebowitz

Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress. - Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids. - Harvey Mackay

If a person is an economic being and figures out the odds, then there is a very high incentive to cheat. That is, of course, putting aside honor, duty and patriotism. - Jerome Kurtz, former Commissioner, Internal Revenue Service

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

The United States has a system of taxation by confession. - Hugo Black

Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it. - Dave Barry

The trick is to stop thinking it as 'your' money. - IRS Agent

When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation. - Vanya Cohen

Behind every man who achieves success, Stands a mother, a wife and the IRS. - Ethel Jacobs

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of. - Andy Rooney

And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a "pain in the neck," the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life. - Dave Barry

A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest. - C Bob Thaves

About the Author

Barry Waxler is a financial advisor with UFCAmerica.com.